The Next Six Weeks

I woke up this morning and realized six weeks from today I will be signing my final divorce papers. To say I'm dreading that day is an understatement. As a recovering emotional eater, the weeks ahead will be some of the most challenging I've faced since I started this journey. I'd like to say I have my act together and that I'm breezing right through this, but that would be a lie. This is breaking my heart, and I've had several panic attacks this morning. 

The upcoming weeks are going to be a true test of how far I've come in the recovery process from my food addiction. It's also going to be a huge test of my faith. I've prayed daily for God to heal my marriage, yet the divorce is progressing. I've seen God work miracles in my life many times. I've had prayers answered miraculously, but this time it seems as if God is saying no. It's one of those situations where it just makes no sense, but yet God is allowing it. It's times like this when we have to trust God completely and walk by faith. If it's God's will for me to be a single woman again, then I know he has a different plan for my life. I can't see it now and I don't understand it, but I know God's will is perfect and is what's best for me. 

The fear of falling back into my old destructive habits scares me. I'm going to be taking it one day at a time and praying a lot. But... so far I'm on track with my healthy eating and exercise plan 100%. After my little detour last month, I've regained my motivation, and I'm going to try hard to make the month of June a good month in spite of my personal circumstances. Eating out of control and laying around dwelling on my divorce is not going to make me feel better. It will only make me feel worse and start me on a downward spiral back into the pit of obesity. I don't want to go there again!

I do feel much better physically since I went back to eating fresh and wholesome foods. I've been exercising everyday. I have to credit the Weight Watchers Life Life Active challenge that kicked off last week with my renewed commitment to start dancing and walking at least 30 minutes a day again. I've already noticed I have less pain and less fatigue and my mind is clearer. I've been sticking to the basics. Lots of fresh veggies, fruits, lean meats, low-fat dairy, and whole grains. I'm not feeling hungry at all and I'm very satisfied.

I guess you could say the month of June is going to either make me or break me. I'll see how far I've come on my journey. If I get through the next six weeks strong and focused, with a weight loss rather than a gain, I'll know I'm well on my way to being free from my addiction to food and emotional eating. With God all things are possible, and that includes seemingly hopeless food addicts being set free!