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Since falling off the wagon once again a few months ago, I've been reading back through my journals to look for a pattern of destructive behavior. It was eye-opening. I was saddened to see how many years I've been battling this same old nasty pattern of losing and gaining weight, the same old pattern of running to food for comfort, and the same old results...not getting anywhere.
God has been dealing with me over this in recent days. I admire people who are overweight and it doesn't seem to interfere with their daily lives. For me, obesity is sucking the life right out of me. I cannot do the things I want to do. Worse than that is the fact that I can't do the things God has placed on my heart to do. My writing has suffered because of the excessive fatigue.
It's getting more difficult to keep on top of things around the house and to keep up with the yard work. I'm shocked at how much less energy I have since regaining the weight back. I can tell such a difference in my ability to function. Most days I just want to take a nap after work. My knees and back hurt all the time, and I certainly struggle to keep up with my grandchildren.
Speaking of grandchildren, I'm about to become grandma again. This will be the fourth grandchild. If things go as planned, I will be meeting little Sophia Rose within the next few days. I've been thinking about the example I'm setting for my little ones. I'm afraid it hasn't been a very good one in terms of what I eat and how I care for my body. I do want to influence them in a positive way.
It's time for me to start losing weight for the most important reason: Gluttony is a sin! It can no longer be about wanting to get into a pair of real jeans again (not the stretchy, frumpy-dumpy-looking ones) or wanting to lose weight for an upcoming wedding next year. While those things can be good motivators, my real goal in this life needs to be to please God.
Philippians 3:19
Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.
Proverbs 23:20-21
Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.
Gluttony is mentioned as sin in the Bible. It's also a sin we wear openly for the world to see. Nobody hides their struggle with overeating. It's evident in our bulging stomachs and widening hips. Yet, you rarely hear gluttony mentioned from the pulpit in churches today.
I can relate to the Bible verse above that says: "gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." I've spent money foolishly supporting my habit of gluttony. The trips to the grocery store and fast food places have put me in a real financial bind at times. Just like any other addiction, there's a price that comes with it. At times I "plan" binges. I will go to the store and buy stuff just for the purpose of having an eating binge. Now that my work hours have been cut back, I'm wishing I had some of the money I wasted supporting my habit over the years. I would be shocked if I knew the total I spent to support my addiction.
But...the good news is we serve a wonderful and loving God. I've been crying out to him a lot lately for direction and forgiveness. I want to overcome this struggle with obesity. I want to change for the better. I want to move forward and beat this once and for all, and with God as my helper, I will do it.
Taking a trip back through my journals is a wake-up call for me to take action. How sad to see the years I've wasted wallowing around in this destructive pit of obesity. So much of what I wrote in my journals was negative, depressing, and hopeless. Those emotions are not from God but from the enemy. God desires for us to live abundantly and to be filled with joy and peace. All addictions keep people from being who God intended them to be.
I've had to ask myself some tough questions lately. What legacy am I leaving for my loved ones? Is it the legacy of an addict who never conquered her gluttony or the legacy of a woman who was able to reveal to others that it is possible to be set free from addictions and emotional eating?
If God should give me more time on this earth, I pray my journals will tell the story of an overcomer. I pray they will be filled with moments of success and victory. I pray they will reveal the incredible journey of a fat woman who dared to start over one more time and let God lead her to the abundant life he placed her on this earth to live. With God, all things are possbible!
So thankful for His grace once again. Stay tuned...
God has been dealing with me over this in recent days. I admire people who are overweight and it doesn't seem to interfere with their daily lives. For me, obesity is sucking the life right out of me. I cannot do the things I want to do. Worse than that is the fact that I can't do the things God has placed on my heart to do. My writing has suffered because of the excessive fatigue.
It's getting more difficult to keep on top of things around the house and to keep up with the yard work. I'm shocked at how much less energy I have since regaining the weight back. I can tell such a difference in my ability to function. Most days I just want to take a nap after work. My knees and back hurt all the time, and I certainly struggle to keep up with my grandchildren.
Speaking of grandchildren, I'm about to become grandma again. This will be the fourth grandchild. If things go as planned, I will be meeting little Sophia Rose within the next few days. I've been thinking about the example I'm setting for my little ones. I'm afraid it hasn't been a very good one in terms of what I eat and how I care for my body. I do want to influence them in a positive way.
It's time for me to start losing weight for the most important reason: Gluttony is a sin! It can no longer be about wanting to get into a pair of real jeans again (not the stretchy, frumpy-dumpy-looking ones) or wanting to lose weight for an upcoming wedding next year. While those things can be good motivators, my real goal in this life needs to be to please God.
Philippians 3:19
Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.
Proverbs 23:20-21
Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.
Gluttony is mentioned as sin in the Bible. It's also a sin we wear openly for the world to see. Nobody hides their struggle with overeating. It's evident in our bulging stomachs and widening hips. Yet, you rarely hear gluttony mentioned from the pulpit in churches today.
I can relate to the Bible verse above that says: "gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." I've spent money foolishly supporting my habit of gluttony. The trips to the grocery store and fast food places have put me in a real financial bind at times. Just like any other addiction, there's a price that comes with it. At times I "plan" binges. I will go to the store and buy stuff just for the purpose of having an eating binge. Now that my work hours have been cut back, I'm wishing I had some of the money I wasted supporting my habit over the years. I would be shocked if I knew the total I spent to support my addiction.
But...the good news is we serve a wonderful and loving God. I've been crying out to him a lot lately for direction and forgiveness. I want to overcome this struggle with obesity. I want to change for the better. I want to move forward and beat this once and for all, and with God as my helper, I will do it.
Taking a trip back through my journals is a wake-up call for me to take action. How sad to see the years I've wasted wallowing around in this destructive pit of obesity. So much of what I wrote in my journals was negative, depressing, and hopeless. Those emotions are not from God but from the enemy. God desires for us to live abundantly and to be filled with joy and peace. All addictions keep people from being who God intended them to be.
I've had to ask myself some tough questions lately. What legacy am I leaving for my loved ones? Is it the legacy of an addict who never conquered her gluttony or the legacy of a woman who was able to reveal to others that it is possible to be set free from addictions and emotional eating?
If God should give me more time on this earth, I pray my journals will tell the story of an overcomer. I pray they will be filled with moments of success and victory. I pray they will reveal the incredible journey of a fat woman who dared to start over one more time and let God lead her to the abundant life he placed her on this earth to live. With God, all things are possbible!
So thankful for His grace once again. Stay tuned...
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