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I continue to struggle with weight loss and staying focused. I've been missing in action for quite some time from the blogging world. I wasn't sure what to write about. I want to encourage others who struggle with food addictions, and I felt my own lack of discipline in recent months would be more of a discouragement to others.
However, after much prayer and prompting by the Holy Spirit, I decided it was time to come back and just be honest about what happened during the last 5 months. I never professed to be perfect and have all the answers when I started this blog. I'm still very much on the journey and learning as I go (failing more than I'm succeeding most of the time), but still trying to break free from the bondage of food and emotional eating.
One thing I will promise you is honesty. I will never try to sugar coat how difficult overcoming an addiction is, and I will always be real about where I'm at on the journey to recovery. With that being said, I fell off track in a major way after Christmas. I gained all the weight back that I had lost...yes, every single pound I had worked to get off.
I could blame a million things. I could say my health problems (which have escalated to an all-time high) made it impossible to stay focused on anything other than chronic pain and exhaustion. I could blame it on the fact that I had to stop my Weight Watchers membership due to my job hours being cut back to a mere 24 hours a week with our department being phased out. Of course, there's always my husband to blame; he called every day for three months and seemed to be leaning towards coming home only to stop calling and pull away again. I could say it was the stress of trying to get a writing website up and running for my freelance writing business.
I could use any of the above reasons or all of them combined as an excuse to run to food. It certainly would make sense for an emotional eater to run to food in the midst of all the things going on in my life in recent months, but it still comes down to being just an excuse. Most of the things mentioned were going on in my life when I originally lost the weight. The truth is I just didn't try. I gave up and allowed myself to eat what I wanted without any thought of the consequences. I stopped caring. It was not worth it. What a vicious cycle this addiction is. The 40 pounds I gained back is a horrible daily reminder of living in bondage.
There is no freedom in feeling fat! I don't know what the future holds, but I do know the pain of remaining where I'm at is not an option, so I'm picking myself up once again and moving forward on the journey to better health.
However, after much prayer and prompting by the Holy Spirit, I decided it was time to come back and just be honest about what happened during the last 5 months. I never professed to be perfect and have all the answers when I started this blog. I'm still very much on the journey and learning as I go (failing more than I'm succeeding most of the time), but still trying to break free from the bondage of food and emotional eating.
One thing I will promise you is honesty. I will never try to sugar coat how difficult overcoming an addiction is, and I will always be real about where I'm at on the journey to recovery. With that being said, I fell off track in a major way after Christmas. I gained all the weight back that I had lost...yes, every single pound I had worked to get off.
I could blame a million things. I could say my health problems (which have escalated to an all-time high) made it impossible to stay focused on anything other than chronic pain and exhaustion. I could blame it on the fact that I had to stop my Weight Watchers membership due to my job hours being cut back to a mere 24 hours a week with our department being phased out. Of course, there's always my husband to blame; he called every day for three months and seemed to be leaning towards coming home only to stop calling and pull away again. I could say it was the stress of trying to get a writing website up and running for my freelance writing business.
I could use any of the above reasons or all of them combined as an excuse to run to food. It certainly would make sense for an emotional eater to run to food in the midst of all the things going on in my life in recent months, but it still comes down to being just an excuse. Most of the things mentioned were going on in my life when I originally lost the weight. The truth is I just didn't try. I gave up and allowed myself to eat what I wanted without any thought of the consequences. I stopped caring. It was not worth it. What a vicious cycle this addiction is. The 40 pounds I gained back is a horrible daily reminder of living in bondage.
There is no freedom in feeling fat! I don't know what the future holds, but I do know the pain of remaining where I'm at is not an option, so I'm picking myself up once again and moving forward on the journey to better health.
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